Willie The Weather Monkey by Kiet0

One night in late October,
When I was far from sober,
Returning with my load with manly pride,
My feet began to stutter,
So I lay down in the gutter,
And a pig came near and lay down by my side;
A lady passing by was heard to say;
"You can tell a man boozes,
By the company he chooses,"
And the pig got up and slowly walked away.

This weather forecaster we have here annoys me because he never gets it right. This time, he must have watched the other news channels because he was right on with this storm we had the other day. I wrote this story a few years ago in his honor.

Willie The Weather Monkey by Kieto

Willy is a monkey! Everybody knows it! Everyone had seen him at one time or another at the city zoo. He was famous and had been the major attraction there for many years. Sometimes, it was almost like he was human. He danced and sang songs, like, 'Fly me To The Moon' and That's Amore' just to name a few.

Before being captured and taken to the zoo, he was in the jungle of deepest Africa. Willie was a great poker player but quit because there were too many cheetahs. Then he did a stint as the jungle comic which prepared him for his life at the zoo. Willie told people jokes and he was a real hit. Another talent he had was throwing darts. The trainer set up a dart board at one end of the cage and he would just fling them darts and hit bulls eyes all day long.

Folks in the crowd would yell out, "Willie! Hit a 20!" And without hesitation, he would hit a 20. "Willie! Hit a 14!" And without hesitation, he would hit a 14. He would hit any number they would request.

The trainer got an idea one evening after watching the weather report on the 10pm news. The next day, the trainer painted different dart boards with different weather forecasts. He thought to himself, that the people who gave the weather reports on TV never got the weather predictions right anyway, why not let Willie try.

The trainer set up the dart boards in the cage. One board had snow; another sunny; another cloudy; another rain; another partly cloudy; well, you get the idea. Then there was the dart board with the temperatures on it.

Once he got them all set up, he gave Willie the darts and asked him, "What's the weather going to be like today Willie?" And Willie took a dart and threw at the dart board with snow on it. He then asked, "What is the temperature going to be Willie?" And Willie tossed the dart to the ring that had 30 degrees.

And each time he was pretty much right on. It was uncanny to see this happen. It was truly uncanny! And what a crowd he drew from this new talent! Thousands would come to see him predict the weather.

One of the owners of a local TV station had seen him in action and decided to hire him and fire the old weather forecaster. Willie was given the new name of, 'Willie, The Weather Monkey'. His darts and boards were to be set up at the station. And each night on TV, millions tuned in to see him predict the weather.

On his very first day on the job, his major debut on television, he was introduced. Willie took the darts in hand tossing the first. It landed on sunshine and the second landed on 80 degrees. The news broadcaster announced that that would be the weather for tomorrow.

Sunshine and 80 degrees!!! WOW!!!!

The next day came and the city had 14 inches of snow and the temperature never got higher than 25. People were running down the street in shorts and t-shirts. It was quite a disaster. When people demanded an apology, none was given because after all, "He was just a monkey," the owner of the TV station shot back! "What did they expect?"

Willie sure did make a monkey out of a lot of people. Willie was sent back to the Zoo and had many great laughs with all the other animals. Especially when he re-enacted how he took aim and threw the darts at the wrong weather dart boards. They would all go bananas! They made him honorary mayor of the zoo because... "Willie Monkey see, Willie Monkey do!" There is only one thing smarter than a monkey who can predict the weather and that my friends is a spelling bee. Tee hee!

The End.